1) Today, April 4th 2015 i slept and had my napped. From last night till the evening, I dreamt of you for several times in just in a day. What a love i have for you. Happy to see you and hear your voice again and its so alive and real. And since we haven't go for Skype or whatever for a very long time together and jyeahhh it makes me happy to see you. I've seen so many changes on to yourself and i'm not bitter about it may you still remember me and spare some mind and feelings for me through out your lives. Anyways, every time i dreamt of you it makes me sad and fonder of you. I do always dreamt of you but today it seems weird where i dreamt of you for many times from last night till evening's nap. Maybe its just because of i really miss you? Or thinking of you very much i guess?
2) I truly would like to know what is in your heart really when everytime you hears or sees my name. Will it be like a racing heart beats of happiness, would it be cares feeling and wants to know more about my story, would it be a "so-so" feeling which you just say oh yeah its me so?, would it be a sad feeling since we were apart, or would it be just a simply plain nothing.
3) Im just pretty wondering about you all the times. Do you spare in your mind about me and my name when you're happy, sad and through out all of your days like i really do? I do not know what portions has fell onto my head till i keep remembering you from the moment you are not by my side. I wish you could feel me like what i really do now. Its true and i know that im very clingy, possessive and even worse "overly attached" but that's not it. Actually i just want you to feel and know what i really do. You see, i'm feeling so very insecure because maybe and might be everyone around you are liking you so much from the since you were born till present days. And what makes me even sad and a bit stress sometimes when i see those peoples around you reacts with you PLUS i have seen how some of your acts makes no difference between me and them.
4) Cant you see that everything i do is for you? Cant you see that i love you, i like you so much and this much. To be honest, i never be in this condition where i'm being very clingy, possessive, and want someone so fucking much. Everything has changed after i met and knew you. And i want you every of my single day and its just great to have you in my life, really. In my life previously, i never dreams to write my story on my blog, on my instagram, on my twitter and etc. In fact i never express what i really feels in the bottom of my heart. But i do now after i met you. And im willing to share every single piece of my body, my life, my everything with you. Just like how i feels for my family. And YESS you're my family from now onwards.
5) You see, you're always the reason why i cannot move on. And far away from the state of "moving on" or "moved on". Because i know my self and i know i never ever will move on.
6) I guess i knew you very well, and i'm not sure and i don't know that whether you have already moved on OR moving on without you noticed OR whatsoever but i'm sure that you always happy as always you do with or without me. And i guess i'm quite sure for that which with or without me you are always happy wherever you are. And i'm happy to know some sorts of your stories.
7) Well, i always reminiscing the old memories of us. And i just want to say MILLIONS OF THANKS to YOU so much for all. To be reminisce again, we back then and previously in time we talked from minutes to hours, and from hours to many hours, from many hours to a complete whole day, from a whole day to the next and continue to the next week and month and complete one year. Always love to talk to you whenever i am and wherever i be i will always find a gap to talk to you, so that you wont feels any gap just like how you were besides me. But now i guess things are slightly changed. You and me are just miles apart. And we no longer talk to each other every hour. Nope, not every Day too. And also not every month.
8)I'm pretty sure that i gave you spaces and gap so you could be free because i understood what and where you are now but actually i hope that you could and would always find the missing pieces so that it brings you back to me.
9) Was it my fault? Or did i annoyyed you so much? Again was it my fault? Didn't i be very clingy and possessive and i'm being a very "overly attached"?! Didn't i text you and waiting for your reply? Didn't you see my tweets, insta and everything is just for you alone? Didn't you see that? Is this my fault? And could it be my fault too? Note that everything i do is for you.
10) Everything i do is for you. And YESS i could share every single part of my stories, my secrets, my body, my lives, my foods, my everything for you because everything that i do is for you.
11) Maybe you won't feel the same and do the same. And maybe you don't really cares and pay attention on what i really meant in my blog, insta and twitter. I know its sadful for me, if only i could control you and things but its you and its your life. And many questions in my head and questions that i've asked were not answered BTW.
12) I have tried to be the old me and to be "biasa-biasa" but i just cannot.
12) In conclusion, what is mine is always mine. Never get attached or try to get closed TO ANYONE or ANYONE TO WHAT IS MINE. Because i am here with full of insecurities and im being so clingy and possesive. I cannot take it. HMMMM ://
Some of the lyrics from Adele's songs :
Take It All
Didn't I give it all,
Tried my best,
Gave you everything I had,
Everything and no less?
Didn't I do it right?
Did I let you down?
Maybe you got too used to
Well, having me around.
Still how can you walk away
From all my tears?
It's gonna be an empty road
Without me right here.
Just take it all
With my love,
Take it all
With my love
I will change if I must.
Slow it down and bring it home, I will adjust.
Oh if only, if only you knew,
Everything I do is for you.
Just take it all
With my love,
Take it all
With my love
Take it all
With my love
Chasing Pavements
Should I give up?
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place?
Should I leave it there?
I'll be waiting
I've seen your face under every sky,
Over every border and on every line,
I'll be waiting for you when you're ready to love me again,
One And Only
You've been on my mind
I grow fonder every day,
Lose myself in time
Just thinking of your face
God only knows
Why it's taken me so long
To let my doubts go
You're the only one that I want
I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all,
I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance
To prove that I'm the one who can
If I've been on your mind
You hang on every word I say
Lose yourself in time at the mention of my name
Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close?
And have you tell me whichever road I choose you'll go
Love Song
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again
However far away I will always love you
However long I stay I will always love you
Whatever words I say I will always love you
I will always love you
Someone Like You
I heard that you're settled down
I heard that your dreams came true
Guess it gives you things I didn't give to you
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.
You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days
Don't You Remember
When will I see you again?
I had no idea of the state we were in,
I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and heaviness in my head,
But don't you remember?
Don't you remember
Baby, please remember me once more,
When was the last time you thought of me?
Or have you completely erased me from your memory?
I often think about where I went wrong,
The more I do, the less I know,
But I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,
But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,
Gave you the space so you could breathe,
I kept my distance so you would be free,
And hoped that you'd find the missing piece,
To bring you back to me,
Baby, please remember me once more,
When will I see you again?
Never Gonna Leave You
So let's go back there, back to the start
Swear I'm never gonna leave you
Cause you're the only one I want
Let's go back there, back to the start
Swear I'm never gonna leave you
Cause you're the only one I want, yeah
You're the only one
Never gonna leave no
No, I'm never gonna leave you, no
He won't Go
Will he... will he still remember me?
Will he still love me even when he's free?
Or will he go back to the place where he would choose the poison over me?
What if I lose my heart and fail the climb?
I won't forgive me if I give up trying
